Friday, June 25, 2010

Needed an ability to persaude wife...

Need an ability to persuade wife she does indeed look great in that dress but that the dress belongs in mount doom so our marriage can enjoy peace once again. It all happened minutes ago, the wife showed up with a bag from T.J. Maxx and I knew it was going to be a bad night. It's happened dozens of times before, she buys a dress on clearance and jokes about being such a "fashionista". What does that even mean? The dress always has this bold pattern that looks great at first but then you realize the reason it is on clearance. The pattern, the pattern, it starts to turn and pulse and look like afterbirth. You become convinced that this is the same pattern that drove Jeffrey Dahmer to the acts that led to him picking ligaments from his teeth. Please, please help me to believably tell my wife she looks good in that dress but, the dress must die, or at least be my Sam Wise on my journey to destroy the dress in black lands of Mordor otherwise known at the DI on 743 West 700 South in Salt Lake City.

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